Once upon a time…
1. Start Facebook/Twitter.
2. Friends greeting and leaving stuff on your wall gradually turns into just you filling your statuses ranting or showing off.
3. Rambling on and on about how life is hard and how people are annoying is your new hobby. Friends replying to your frustration is a definite plus.
4. Another casual annoying day, your thumbs are furiously typing away your anger.
5. You realize practically EVERYBODY is now on Facebook, and even if those who are not your FB friends might see what you wrote about that particular aggravating thing they just did. They will definitely realize that behind that patient smile you put on bravely during the actual offline meeting, lingers the goddess of wrath, about to wake up from her nap.
6. You hope they’re too stupid or uncouth to realize you’re actually talking about them (it wouldn’t be a surprise, since they were insensitive in the first place to annoy you). But the guilty ones somehow seem to know you’re talking about their crimes when you’re ranting online; this seems too risky.
7. The whole purpose of Facebook crumbles down, and your world is pitched in a disturbing chaos. Your idle thumbs are itching. Your anger gauge rapidly increases because now you can’t even express your disgruntlement through SNS, which, of course, is the healthiest way you know of to release your resentment.
8. A cryptic status, which clearly shows your frustration, but subtly avoids any particular hint on the person responsible for your current state or the particular act, seems a perfect solution. With a devious smile, you furiously yet thoughtfully type away what you believe is a very smart status, in the lines of
“I knew it was too good to be true, I couldn’t possibly have stayed un-annoyed for such a long time. And today, the biggest bomb of all. FML”.
Counter-argument to Solution 1
9. Just when you’re about to press/click that Post/Tweet button, what is likely to happen in the fascinating offline world where nobody ever rests, unfolds in front of your eyes.
People comment ‘Awww what’s wrong?’ ‘Dislike!’ ‘What happened?’ ‘Who is messing with you again?’, ‘Ach, just like me today’ to which you probably won’t be able to give a straightforward answer (see no. 6 to refresh your memory).
You realize this is another group of people you find annoying on SNS – those who leave cryptic messages, haunting your curiosity, but who somehow are reluctant to elaborate on what is actually bothering them, leaving you just as frustrated as they are. Why bother tell the whole world you’re annoyed if you don’t want to talk about it?
You don’t want to belong to that group, so you have to give up Solution 1, fuming.
10. You write about your experience as if you were analyzing a specific social and psychological phenomenon you think is the new ailment today’s society and youth are facing, on a blog you hope people who don’t care about you enough will be too lazy to click on. You know how much effort it takes, clicking on another link while lightly facebooking.
Pros of Solution 2
11. You feel smart about yourself. Good job, as always, you tell yourself, with a mental wink and a mental pat on the back. Or an actual pat on the back. Who cares, you’re by yourself, writing in front of your laptop. Nobody’s looking. Just go ahead. *pat pat smile*
While you’re at it, mental self-high-five; and you’ve just upgraded yourself to the level of awesomeness of Barney Stinson. All is good, no, legen… wait for it… dary. No YOU ARE legen…wait for it…dary.
(OK, stop, you’ve started creeping yourself out)
12. You know those who care enough will notice and read this post and let you know they sympathize, which is enough.
13. There is only little chance the person responsible for all this in the first place will find about this. Therefore, that person will still believe you are a nice friend. That’s never bad, you can definitely live with that. Once again, you’ve managed to dodge that bullet of becoming the ‘bad guy’. Phew! It was a close one. Your lifelong cover could have really blown up this time.
14. You feel smart AND satisfied. You’ve been happy with much less. This is AWESOME.