No, I won’t be living with my sister when I go to Boston.
It’s not that we’re not close, anybody who knows me or us even remotely would know we’re the closest as sisters can be.
I often joke around and say that it’s because I want to maintain that close relationship that we won’t be living together, but it really is just a joke. I think we could manage fine if we decided to live together, we would, obviously, have our petty arguments about not leaving things around unorganized or whose turn it is to clean the bathroom, etc, but I also think we would have some great memories and awesome moments, like devouring pints of ice-cream together just because we feel like it or watching cheasy Bollywood movies.
But I just think it’s the most natural thing to do, to have two ‘grown-up sisters’ living apart, if you think about it, no?
Sure, if we were still in our very early 20s, we would probably have lived in together, for multiple reasons.
Being young and in a foreign country can be exciting, but just as daunting, and living together would have helped us in many more ways. Our parents would have contributed a lot, I guess, in that case, and for economic and financial reasons, it would have made more sense to share a common space of habitat.
But as much as we love being sisters, I think with age also comes a need for more privacy, among others. Sure, my sister is sharing a house with her friends, and I will probably too, but it’s different, sharing a house with your family and sharing it with friends. You don’t have to ‘justify’ or ‘explain’ everything to your friends, and while I’m sure we will know how to respect each other’s boundaries, there will be moments those family ties will surge subconsciously and we’ll tell ‘privacy’ and ‘freedom’ to shut up and demand explanations from the other. Or else, we’ll tell Mommy, right? Just kidding.
Moreover, I recently realized that my sister is getting double the money I will be getting, and needless to say, that would definitely complicate matters. Money always does. Especially when the involved parties don’t get the same amount. Obviously we won’t have the same standards, especially when I can be very money-conscious. Of course, I won’t be as evil as when I was when I was much, much, younger, when I used to come up with what I thought were devious and smart schemes, but what were actually stupid and mean, to take away money (or other possessions) from her just because she had more than I did. (I know, a part of my past I’m not really proud of, but may the one without sins throw the first stone…) But, I can’t guarantee… I was once mean, who says that evil side of me won’t kick back, after 20 years or so?
And, as far as I know, we’re two awkward girls who have been striving for as long as I can remember to ‘be cool’, and we have often had some moments, in the history of our existence so far, of thinking we had finally reached that stage one way or the other (whether it was an illusion on our part or actually true, we will never know for sure). In the continuation of that spirit and that battle, I just think it’s a bit cooler to say ‘I share a house/apartment with friends from grad school’ than to say ‘Oh yeah, I live with my little sister.’ I think. Or maybe neither of them are cool things to say from a 28 year-old, single girl. Oh well, we do the best with what we have, don’t we?
By the way, this is not a message of frustration directed to people who have actually asked me this. I can see why it could be a valid line of questioning and a matter of curiosity to be dealt with. Even my dad was mildly shocked and couldn’t understand why we’re not getting a house together (but then, my dad sometimes asks the stupidest questions, just saying). I’m just tired of hearing the same question from so many different people, and having to explain what seems obvious to me.