All right, I had so many things in mind to write about once I get in a school, but well, it’s highly likely they’re just going to stay hidden away in some dusty shelves of my memory. So now I have a whole new series of writings designed, which fits just the situation I am in. Yes, they may be (will be) more depressing than the ones that will probably not see the daylight for the moment (I’m still careful with words such as ‘never’), but well, can you blame me? So here goes. I’m thinking the next post will be something in the lines of: “The myths of Second Impressions and Second Chances’. We’ll see.
Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, Madonna, Leonel Messi, Beyonce…
the world seems to be overflown by a crazy number of talented people, whose success stories and courage are frequently shoved into our faces so that we can too aim at , saving, or at least, changing the world. We are constantly told to pursue our wildest dreams, to aim for the stars, the moon and the sun, to do anything for what we believe in, to dance like no one is watching us, to love like there’s no tomorrow, to walk towards our passion and money will naturally follow. And so we strive, whether it is unconsciously or consciously, to be ‘someone’. What we are most terrified of is leaving this earth without having left our footprint. The scary part is, all these legends once were normal people like you and I, some might even say ‘failures’ as considered by society then, at some point, yet they managed to overcome whatever stood between them and their dream. So we naturally assume, deep in our hearts, secretly, that we too, can arise from the ‘ordinary’ to become an ‘extraordinary’ being. Books will be written about us, and people will talk about us. Teenagers, lost souls in their 20s and 30s will look upon us and will find in us a role model. And so the vicious circle continues, where a handful of mirages will guide the remaining 6 billions of people with words and visions of a dream, only to welcome a tiny portion into their extraordinary world.
Do we ever stop to wonder if it might just be possible that some of us don’t have the passion, the dream, the hope, the tenacity or the talent that some of these role models have? What if, after university, a job, graduate studies, a couple more jobs, we still can’t find what we’re most passionate about? What if we are too afraid to fall to aim for the stars? What if we’re uber-conscious of ourselves to be dancing like no one is watching? What if we haven’t found love yet? What if we just can’t afford not to think about paying rent, eating, and spending money on trivial stuff?
What if, we’re just ‘normal’ and ‘ordinary’?
I know, the next thing I’ll hear will be how many failures these people have encountered on their way, how many tears they have shed too, how many falls they have had.
And so every time we fall, we are told to get up now, that the pity looks the others give us won’t last long, that the path to success lies right there, that ‘there is light at the end of the tunnel’.
Well, is there?
I know I’m acting like a spoiled little girl, who has had (mostly) everything she wanted so far and now that she can’t have one little toy at the top of the shelf, she is acting like she’s thrown into the bottom of a dark pit. I know I should consider myself lucky not having to worry about where to live, what to eat or what to wear. There are children and people out there starving, sick and dying. Yes, yes, I know all that, but to whoever managed to be comforted by the rhetoric ‘At least you’re not dying in Africa’ to the problems he/she was facing, please tell me how that works, because it has never worked for me.
And I know too, that deep inside me, I read these quotes and I nod along, I know that ‘I am the creator of my own destiny‘, that ‘I should stop wishing and start doing‘ and all that crap. But I just wish that I could get away from all this positive and motivational energy for just a bit and be able to be ‘me’, an ordinary, possibly not destined for great things me.
I just wish that whenever I am down, I am not told right away to get up, that failure is how you define it. I wish I could be told ‘It’s ok not to get up just now. Lie down and cry. I know you failed, but it’s ok. You still have ten fingers and ten toes, so everything is good’.
I know that deep inside, I personally won’t be satisfied with, for instance, taking on a ‘simple office job’ (although now, that’s just as hard as getting to a school for the gifted it seems). I know that the minute I think I am back on track towards being ‘legendary’, I will be shouting ‘Later losers’ to all the ‘ordinary, dream-less and hope-less people’ out there. Just like Raj did to his single comic-book-lover-geek friends the moment he found a girl to have coffee with, when he was delivering this heartfelt speech about how it’s all right to be single on Valentine’s Day, just a minute ago.
And so, yes, here’s to success, eventually.
But also, here’s to being ordinary. Here’s to not having a passion and being ok about it.