What the normal twelve years of elementary education, four years of university, or even years of hard-earned M.As and Ph.Ds fail to teach us is unvariably and ironically, the most basic element in life – relationships, especially among friends.
Friends – you can’t live without, yet you can’t help feeling bothered by them at least once a week, or sometimes even once a day 😉
What is the key to good friendship? Common hobbies? Similar background? Chemistry?
Yes, all the above, and much more, but I often think that ‘time’ is also a key issue.
The more you spend time with them, the more you get to know them, and hopefully the more you like what you see and get (no, this is NOT a dirty line). Unfortunately, there is also, I believe, a saturation point in this variable of time (if I were any good at graphs and functions, I would definitely draw a graph and write down an equation to prove my point, but I know well that is NOT possible). Once you have passed thattime limit, the level of how much you enjoy your friendship seems to go down. You don’t see the good things (maybe because you’ve seen them all), you start seeing the little tiny details that might be considered annoying, and there even comes a point where you start wondering how you ever got to be friends in the first place. The same goes for the other way round though. The less frequent meetings with friends, the bigger and quicker the gap.
In the end, the best thing we can do is accept the fact that friendship, although sacred, is not something perfect, as many of us try in vain to believe or as many tell us it is, in beautiful words with lovely pictures painted in our imagination.
Friendship, like any other relationship, is something you have to work on, something that is done from both (or from all) sides. And like any other work, the harder you put your effort in, the more satisfying results you can get.
Spend time with your friend, make the effort to take time for your friend, but also make the effort to take time for yourself.
At the end of the day, after some guilty bitching and some exasperated eyes-rolling, you will sit down with your friend, feel the fresh summer breeze or watch the first snow, smile, forget, and be the perfect friend, just like you imagined.